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Thursday, July 22, 2010
NOT posh-worthy
No excuses, I'm just a horrible person at times. I don't always mean to be, and it kills me to know that my seeming indifference at times could hurt those I truly care about. They say admitting you have a problem is the first step, but this is not something new to me...I've known and admit this millions of times, and yet it continues. I guess all I can really do is try to be more aware of it and put a stop to it before it gets me out of control. I don't know...a part of me thinks it's a defense mechanism and that perhaps it's really there to help me from hurting myself or others more, but I honestly don't know. I do know though that once I realize what I've been doing, I feel horrible, and I hate myself for it. Which makes me wonder how it could really be saving me from pain if it causes more pain!?!
I know this probably doesn't make much sense to anyone reading, but it doesn't have to. LOL As long as I know what my ramblings mean, or if I feel better for venting something...then I guess that's really all that matters. No need in dragging anyone else into my crap any more than usual, especially if just rambling to myself helps even a little. Blah!
I did have an update I was wanting to post...not to mention a very special post, but it seems right now is not the right time. I will try to have it ready to post for tomorrow. It's personal and painful...raw...but I'm hoping it will help more than hurt. Until next time...you're in my thoughts and in my heart, please don't forget that! Bunches of miss and love!!
I know this probably doesn't make much sense to anyone reading, but it doesn't have to. LOL As long as I know what my ramblings mean, or if I feel better for venting something...then I guess that's really all that matters. No need in dragging anyone else into my crap any more than usual, especially if just rambling to myself helps even a little. Blah!
I did have an update I was wanting to post...not to mention a very special post, but it seems right now is not the right time. I will try to have it ready to post for tomorrow. It's personal and painful...raw...but I'm hoping it will help more than hurt. Until next time...you're in my thoughts and in my heart, please don't forget that! Bunches of miss and love!!
Posted by: LLH / 3:05 PM 
