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Sunday, April 13, 2008
Blah, blah, blah
I don't know what to say. I'm feeling super bummed. Perhaps it's the cold that's bringing these feelings out, but I'm not sure. I'm sad, my heart is heavy and empty. It's been almost a month since I had to say goodbye to Buttercup, yet the wound is still so raw. I constantly see her out of the corner of my eye and my heart skips a beat and as stupid as it sounds, for a split second, I actually think she's there. Then I remember she'll never be there and I get depressed all over again. My other kitties know I'm distraught, but the more they try to cuddle and comfort me, the worse I feel sometimes. I know most people can't understand, they think "it was just a cat", but I feel like I've lost a child, a best friend, a comforter...nevermind...I can't explain it.
To make matters worse, I'm in pain again. Over a week ago, I slipped on some slippery wood and my knee slammed down on concrete. I had x-rays taken a few days ago and they think I might have fractured something. My doc ordered me off work for a while and insisted that I wear a knee brace. Of course while trying to walk and stand without putting much pressure on my left leg, now my right leg has been sore...not to mention the added stress to my back. So on top of my knee pain, my back pain is worse and I've been dealing with shooting pain from my sciatic nerve down my right leg. Oh, I love my life!
Screw it...I thought rambling on here might help me feel a bit better, but it's only making me feel worse, because now I feel like I'm just whining. I need to think happy thoughts...here's some random happy thought bringers. Colin Hay, David Fonseca, Mr. Brown, Tool, FlashPoint and Jet Stream, Meg and Bruce, Jonny.
Here's an idea...a list of friends I miss, hopefully if they read this they'll drop me a line: Jazzy, Kenneth, George and Tricia, Matthew Ryan, Melinda, Buff & Stuff, my Brother (love is relative). This is crazy, I miss so many people...most of which I'm sure I'll never hear from again.
Nevermind, thinking of people I miss makes me sad again. It sucks, even my music isn't cheering me any. Guess I better stop for now and try again later when my mood clears some. Until then...love and hugs!!
Oh, by the way...Bill, if you're reading this, please don't worry. I always have my ups and downs, I'm sure I'll be fine soon. Thank you for the postcard, and I'll be sending one out to you soon.
To make matters worse, I'm in pain again. Over a week ago, I slipped on some slippery wood and my knee slammed down on concrete. I had x-rays taken a few days ago and they think I might have fractured something. My doc ordered me off work for a while and insisted that I wear a knee brace. Of course while trying to walk and stand without putting much pressure on my left leg, now my right leg has been sore...not to mention the added stress to my back. So on top of my knee pain, my back pain is worse and I've been dealing with shooting pain from my sciatic nerve down my right leg. Oh, I love my life!
Screw it...I thought rambling on here might help me feel a bit better, but it's only making me feel worse, because now I feel like I'm just whining. I need to think happy thoughts...here's some random happy thought bringers. Colin Hay, David Fonseca, Mr. Brown, Tool, FlashPoint and Jet Stream, Meg and Bruce, Jonny.
Here's an idea...a list of friends I miss, hopefully if they read this they'll drop me a line: Jazzy, Kenneth, George and Tricia, Matthew Ryan, Melinda, Buff & Stuff, my Brother (love is relative). This is crazy, I miss so many people...most of which I'm sure I'll never hear from again.
Nevermind, thinking of people I miss makes me sad again. It sucks, even my music isn't cheering me any. Guess I better stop for now and try again later when my mood clears some. Until then...love and hugs!!
Oh, by the way...Bill, if you're reading this, please don't worry. I always have my ups and downs, I'm sure I'll be fine soon. Thank you for the postcard, and I'll be sending one out to you soon.
Posted by: LLH / 5:45 PM 
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Look, its a mention of me! are you proud, I started at June 2005 and I've made it this far? Well actually, i read a bunch of the newer ones first, so i guess i'll just stop when i get to ones i've already read. or just keep reading anyway. who knows? lol, okay, thats enuff for this comment
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