Sunday, June 03, 2007

A peek behind the curtain

After being swept off my feet so many times, only to fall because no one was ever really there to catch me, it's such a surreal experience to be gently picked up and carried away by love. At first it's like feeling like you're drowning, panicking, lashing out at the out-stretched hand trying to save you, only because you don't recognize help, safety. I used to think that being a caring person always willing to help, trying to fix whatever you could, was a good thing. But after a while it's like a part of you dies, like you've given more of yourself than you have left, and then the darkness seeps in. The whispers you once turned your head from now seem to speak so clearly not only to your ear, but to what's left of your ever hardening heart. Why hasn't anyone ever tried to help me, can't anyone see that I need fixed too? The pain swells so heavy in your heart that it chokes you whenever you try to cry out. So you cry alone, thinking that if you just get a little of the hurt out you'll be fine, able to go on. Then if by chance someone does actually care enough to get close enough to see that perhaps there is a crack in your mask, they usually can't understand the sorrow. Wonder what's wrong with you...how could someone so happy all the time, be crawling in such despair? And no one can really understand or seem to want to try, and that makes it even harder to convey your feelings...as if there's no words to describe the hurt, emotions fail to express the truth. You think that if you could just cut yourself open they would see all the hurt inside, but then you wonder if even that would make a difference...would anyone even bother to look?

Image and video hosting by TinyPic
Posted by: LLH / 9:39 PM
Comments: Post a Comment

<< Home

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?