Links
Archives
- June 2005
- July 2005
- August 2005
- September 2005
- October 2005
- November 2005
- January 2006
- May 2006
- July 2006
- August 2006
- September 2006
- October 2006
- January 2007
- May 2007
- June 2007
- July 2007
- August 2007
- September 2007
- October 2007
- November 2007
- December 2007
- January 2008
- February 2008
- March 2008
- April 2008
- May 2008
- June 2008
- September 2008
- November 2008
- December 2008
- August 2009
- September 2009
- October 2009
- November 2009
- December 2009
- January 2010
- February 2010
- March 2010
- April 2010
- May 2010
- June 2010
- July 2010
- March 2011
- April 2011
- May 2011
- December 2012
- July 2015
- August 2015
- September 2015
- October 2015
- November 2015
- December 2015
- January 2016
- March 2016
- May 2016
- September 2018
- June 2022
Friday, January 12, 2007
I need a drinkiepoo!!!
Well, it's a new year and the blah bah humbugness is almost over. Just one more month to go after this one. Although I think I will get by with a little help from my friends. Sorry, just can't help myself when a song moves me! Tee Hee!
Damn, another new year...I just can't believe it. I wonder what horrible heartaches await me this year!?! I know better than to say I don't think things could get worse than last year...indeed I know better. But I can hope they're not as bad. Losing friends is never an easy thing, and losing people you love and have loved for so many years isn't easy either, but when they're one and the same it's really hard. Doubly so when their loss is....I don't want to say ungrounded, but the right word elludes me. A friendship is such a special relationship, and shouldn't be trashed so easily, so selfishly. And worse when you lose more than one in the same year. It boggles my mind that it's been almost a year since my best friend in the whole world just threw me away. Completely dismissed me on Love Hurt's Day....then follows that pain up by more rejection a few months later on his birthday. Only to tell me later that month in a text message that he doesn't hate me....but follows that up with such unkind words. And a refusal to be my friend anymore, to associate with me at all, and apparantly to even converse with me at all....as there's been no response to a few attempts of contact. Do I think he's selfish for disowning me? Yes. Do I believe that things were just too hard for him to stay my friend. I don't know. However, I do know that he's always been such an amazing person, and such an important part of my life....and to have that ripped from my heart is agonizing. Granted, it wasn't always roses and sunshine with us. We had our ups and downs, as any friendship has, but our relationship was more than just that. We were fellow free spirits, we were...Flash Point and Jet Stream damn it!! LOL I should know better than to try and write when I'm tired and emotional. But the question remains...am I a horrible monster for not respecting his wishes? I've tried, but it's so hard. When I wanted someone to talk with, I turned to him. When I needed someone to talk with, I turned to him. When I just wanted my best friend to be silly with, I turned to him. When anything was happening or nothing was happening, he was always who I turned to...for friendship, encouragement, brotherly love, silliness, advice, understanding, whatever it was, he was there. How do I cope without that love? I think I've been doing good. I've only sent 1 text message, 1 Christmas card...however his birthday is approaching and I won't be able to control myself. Our birthdays were our special times, we always celebrated them. And besides I already have presents for him. Not that he'll even acknowledge. I can't believe how strong he's being through all this...I'm sure he's having help from the wicked. And they don't deserve his friendship, they always took him for granted and were envious of what we had. No one could understand what we shared, and so they always tried to destroy it.
BLAH!! I need to stop rambling...just feel the need to get some of this HURT out of me. Ok, time to change the subject before I get crying again. Let's focus on a bright, happy spot. I've recently stumbled into another free spirit. Although no one could ever replace my dear friend, my Flash Point...at least I know there's hope of a friend who...I don't even know how to finish that thought. LOL I give up....it's time for bed....I'll ramble later. On that note, I raise my bottle of Cheerwine and salute the ones I LOVE!!! And apologize for how gay and sappy I've been. Good night.....love and hugs!!
Damn, another new year...I just can't believe it. I wonder what horrible heartaches await me this year!?! I know better than to say I don't think things could get worse than last year...indeed I know better. But I can hope they're not as bad. Losing friends is never an easy thing, and losing people you love and have loved for so many years isn't easy either, but when they're one and the same it's really hard. Doubly so when their loss is....I don't want to say ungrounded, but the right word elludes me. A friendship is such a special relationship, and shouldn't be trashed so easily, so selfishly. And worse when you lose more than one in the same year. It boggles my mind that it's been almost a year since my best friend in the whole world just threw me away. Completely dismissed me on Love Hurt's Day....then follows that pain up by more rejection a few months later on his birthday. Only to tell me later that month in a text message that he doesn't hate me....but follows that up with such unkind words. And a refusal to be my friend anymore, to associate with me at all, and apparantly to even converse with me at all....as there's been no response to a few attempts of contact. Do I think he's selfish for disowning me? Yes. Do I believe that things were just too hard for him to stay my friend. I don't know. However, I do know that he's always been such an amazing person, and such an important part of my life....and to have that ripped from my heart is agonizing. Granted, it wasn't always roses and sunshine with us. We had our ups and downs, as any friendship has, but our relationship was more than just that. We were fellow free spirits, we were...Flash Point and Jet Stream damn it!! LOL I should know better than to try and write when I'm tired and emotional. But the question remains...am I a horrible monster for not respecting his wishes? I've tried, but it's so hard. When I wanted someone to talk with, I turned to him. When I needed someone to talk with, I turned to him. When I just wanted my best friend to be silly with, I turned to him. When anything was happening or nothing was happening, he was always who I turned to...for friendship, encouragement, brotherly love, silliness, advice, understanding, whatever it was, he was there. How do I cope without that love? I think I've been doing good. I've only sent 1 text message, 1 Christmas card...however his birthday is approaching and I won't be able to control myself. Our birthdays were our special times, we always celebrated them. And besides I already have presents for him. Not that he'll even acknowledge. I can't believe how strong he's being through all this...I'm sure he's having help from the wicked. And they don't deserve his friendship, they always took him for granted and were envious of what we had. No one could understand what we shared, and so they always tried to destroy it.
BLAH!! I need to stop rambling...just feel the need to get some of this HURT out of me. Ok, time to change the subject before I get crying again. Let's focus on a bright, happy spot. I've recently stumbled into another free spirit. Although no one could ever replace my dear friend, my Flash Point...at least I know there's hope of a friend who...I don't even know how to finish that thought. LOL I give up....it's time for bed....I'll ramble later. On that note, I raise my bottle of Cheerwine and salute the ones I LOVE!!! And apologize for how gay and sappy I've been. Good night.....love and hugs!!
Posted by: LLH / 12:14 AM 
